Tuesday, November 8, 2011

...and nothing to look back on with hope

Randoms- I love seeing that some people have gotten fatter and uglier over time, it gives me some sort of humanistic satisfaction to know that despite having shit for self esteem and self worth that I am by far the Mary dammit.

I'm smoking wayy too much these days, do I have plans to quit? Nooooooope.

I'm currently wearing a hospital bracelet with my full name on it and for the first time ever I am inclined to agree with the triage nurse, my middle name is beautiful- (Caitlin).

I have a band aid with stars and rocket ships on my ass from the dose of drugs I was given before being released from the emergency room, and yes, my ass is very sore.

Listening to The Hole in Me- thanks Blackfield.

I should be studying, but I'm very angry right now. I do not like to be angry, therefore I am writing on here, half assed studying and doing laundry to soothe my nerves.

I'm still half stoned from the drugs they gave me in the er so my mind is all over the place- more than usual.

Somehow, someway, someone has gotten in- getting past those barriers (I like the barrier method, what can I say?) and I'm not quite sure what to make of it yet.

I have issues with monogamy- I have made plans to further explore and define this soon enough.

I fell ass over teakettle in love with this sapphire sparkly the otherday, this is a surefire sign that I am healing and moving along with life.

I just spilled candlewax accidently on my new fucking comforter, pillow and my shirt- fucking hell. This is why we can't have nice things.

I'm going to end this on the note of Porcupine Tree- Waiting Phase One- why you ask? Because hopefully there will be more to come and it will be a rant...oh joy